Even though we
were the "big" kids now, we couldn't wear gym shorts or sweatpants on
a regular basis like we wanted, nor chew gum; although, I do feel as if
everyone can agree that middle school was not the finest time of their
life. Or at least for me, I mean I still
believed that it was acceptable to wear tight Aeropostle shirts with knee
length basketball shorts and to stare at your boyfriend in guided practice at
more than ten second intervals. And let’s
not forget the extreme overbite held by a newly installed set of train
tracks. I was a sight to see, especially
on the morning when I attempted to scrunch my already dry hair with my dad's
masculine smelling styling gel. But, I
know everyone has some embarrassing moments they're either dying to tell or
resisting to even admit that it ever happened at all.
But, the point I
wanted to make, was that it was a growing time for all of us. We were trying to figure out who we are and
what we enjoyed to do, without the influence of our group of friends. I remember distinctly that there was a point
when I begged my parents to let me stay home just because I didn’t have a
stylish winter coat from Hollister to wear to recess, like Madi Henn did. Or I can describe the countless times I sat
outside on this specific wooden bench trying to convince people to let me sit
with them at lunch the following day. Did
I mention I was completely uncomfortable and self-conscious if I wasn’t wearing
my ONLY pair of Buckle jeans in 7th grade? I swore I washed those every single night and
even if I didn’t, I’d wear them again anyway, afraid of what people might think
if I wore something else. I don’t even
understand how I made it out of that place alive, much less so mentally
defeated.
School
was a game, and if I had the opportunity to relive that part of my educational
career, I would most definitely pass. It
was tough, if we were having a hard day; it wasn't uncommon to relay our
negativity onto someone else. And those
who didn't have comforting or encouraging parents at home to run to, had to
battle their challenges alone. Which
made some feel insecure, and not only those, under the specific circumstances,
but also others too? Insecure enough to
spread hurtful words instead of seeking help for their own problems. They picked on the ones most vulnerable,
least talked to, the prettiest, the heart broken, the weirdoes, and most
importantly, the popular too. It was a
whirlwind of damaged souls. And there
was unlikely a day when compliments were spoon upon them. Tears were shed, administration was called,
yet things didn't change much. They were
students, YOUR fellow students, your own kind; you couldn't break free no
matter how much you try. The fact is,
words hurt. Whether you're critiquing
someone on their inability to do something well or spreading rumors about
someone just because you despise their existence, it's wrong.
Back then, we had an excuse, we were still
learning how to control what we say and when to say it. Now, we've had a number of experiences and
should confidently refuse to pursue pain onto others. Yet, we continue the pattern of our long lost
middle school years, and gossip with a new kind of power. Facial expression. Defined as a suggestive or sneering look or
grin. Remember, words can hurt, but so can your physical appearance in
conversation or as a spectator. Were all
human, you cannot let one defeat you and make you sink to a position of predator
or prey.
***I’m
incredibly thankful for all the people who helped me through; friends, family,
and anyone involved in my youth group. I
couldn’t be any more appreciative of the time each and every one of you has
given me. Whether it has been a good
morning with a smile in the hallway, to an unexpected compliment during a
stressful week, I thank you with a full heart.
I am truly blessed to have come this far, and I want to pray for those
who continue to trudge on through when times become unbearable. But, I have hope for each and every one of
you, and your potential is farther than you can dream or imagine. Believe in yourself, separate the good from
the bad, and reach for the stars my children, or fellow seniors.
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